Well, i'm back to blogging. Let's see. Frankly speaking, i'm feeling really depressed these few weeks. Why? I think that's because i have got so many things coked up in my mind, that i can't speak even in a year or approximately 365 days. I have dozens of things, be it good or bad, it just sinks in my brain and it never seemed to get away and in the end, i really felt like i am at my losing end! But hey, i supposed all the thoughts that i have pondered about so far are supposingly ''NEGATIVE'' thoughts! I wanted to get rid of all those negative thoughts that have been stucked like a blood clot in my brain for..OKAY, 2 years! I myself, am shocked at this numerical digit of 2 years that includes 365 days of non-stop working, physically, emotionally and even mentally! That does includes my stress management on studying for my O levels!

So, to try ending this ''MISERY'', a hopeful me, have decided to attend a counselling session held by my school. However, initially, i didn't like the thought of me having to go for a ''COUNSELLING SESSION'', that is because i couldn't help but think that i am a problem kid! I SERIOUSLY DON'T THINK I AM!:( However, to come to think of it, i thought it was alright just to get counselled as it would solve my problem, ONCE AND FOR ALL. Yeah, i then had an hour's long counselling session with Ms Mulai, who is my school's counseller, together with two of my classmates. Together, we talked about our problems. BUT..but..but..when i told Ms Mulai about my problem and ''condition(if that would be the right word to use)''..she told me something, something that shocked me as if my world is going to fall apart, that i could not live any longer, that i was having DEPRESSION, i was at the early stage of depression. She told me that if i do not take any actions to solve this problem, that would lead to a more serious depression stage and hence, having to deal with medications and.. the BLA BLA stuffs..

You know, this is really really freaking me out! I AM DEPRESSED, I AM HAVING DEPRESSION! This thought have actually been visible to my mind for so many years already but i wouldn't let it happen. However, that was what it is, appearing before my mind now was the word, DEPRESSION.

Lord, could you just let me leave this world and just let me DIE?? I wanted so much to lead a happy and yet satisfying lifestyle, however, i am leading a boring and dull lifestyle. God, please lighten up my life, would you?? I guess i can't speak of this any longer...

Now, my heart is the only organ that lives for THE SAKE OF LIVING. Haha. I wonder, how nice would it be to have someone caring, loving and doing every other things with you...well, i understand a little of it already though not fully.

I just felt like searching his mind for a minute or two, just to search for the correct ''infomation'' that i always wanted to know, haha. I was overwhelmed with the fact that, the guy that i have liked for so long, have finally came closer...i just had this mixed feelings, like bubbles, some bubbles would appear and show visions of us in it, another moment, the bubbles would burst, ''POP!'' and every feeling would be gone again. This feeling is undescribable...i guess..things will change gradually, hopefully, for the better..

He just makes me worried about him all the time, i could feel that my whole heart lies on him..i would like to protect him and change him if i could. Let's say..FOREVER? How nic would that be if i were to be with him until the end of time:) However, the future is unpredictable, everything just comes with a flow, like the waterfalls...

*Sobs*, i miss you quite terribly!:'(

Okey-dokey, i guess it will be a fresh new start for me tomorrow! Have a long and nic weekend everyone!:) Goodbye and CHEERIOS!;)