I TRY


Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together babe
But we're not
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
And I'll try to keep my cool, but I'm feelin'

Chorus:
I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here

I may appear to be free
But I'm just a prisoner of your love
And I may seem all right and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
Just a front, hey
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
And I'll try to keep my cool, but I'm feenin'

Repeat Chorus:

Here is my confession
May I be your possession
Boy, I need your touch
Your love, kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can't deny, deny

I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
(but I'm dreaming of you babe)
And I'll keep my cool, but I'm feenin'
I try to say goodbye and I choke (yeah)
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
(when you are not near aahh)
Goodbye and I choke (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I try to walk away and I stumble (hey, hey, hey)
Though I try to hide it, it's clear (say it Lord)
My world crumbles when you are not here

Goodbye and I choke (I'm choking)
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
(when you are not near, yeah, yeah yeah)
Yeah, yeah..

I TRY


Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together babe
But we're not
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
And I'll try to keep my cool, but I'm feelin'

Chorus:
I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here

I may appear to be free
But I'm just a prisoner of your love
And I may seem all right and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
Just a front, hey
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
And I'll try to keep my cool, but I'm feenin'

Repeat Chorus:

Here is my confession
May I be your possession
Boy, I need your touch
Your love, kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can't deny, deny

I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
(but I'm dreaming of you babe)
And I'll keep my cool, but I'm feenin'
I try to say goodbye and I choke (yeah)
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
(when you are not near aahh)
Goodbye and I choke (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I try to walk away and I stumble (hey, hey, hey)
Though I try to hide it, it's clear (say it Lord)
My world crumbles when you are not here

Goodbye and I choke (I'm choking)
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
(when you are not near, yeah, yeah yeah)
Yeah, yeah..

Well, i'm back to blogging. Let's see. Frankly speaking, i'm feeling really depressed these few weeks. Why? I think that's because i have got so many things coked up in my mind, that i can't speak even in a year or approximately 365 days. I have dozens of things, be it good or bad, it just sinks in my brain and it never seemed to get away and in the end, i really felt like i am at my losing end! But hey, i supposed all the thoughts that i have pondered about so far are supposingly ''NEGATIVE'' thoughts! I wanted to get rid of all those negative thoughts that have been stucked like a blood clot in my brain for..OKAY, 2 years! I myself, am shocked at this numerical digit of 2 years that includes 365 days of non-stop working, physically, emotionally and even mentally! That does includes my stress management on studying for my O levels!

So, to try ending this ''MISERY'', a hopeful me, have decided to attend a counselling session held by my school. However, initially, i didn't like the thought of me having to go for a ''COUNSELLING SESSION'', that is because i couldn't help but think that i am a problem kid! I SERIOUSLY DON'T THINK I AM!:( However, to come to think of it, i thought it was alright just to get counselled as it would solve my problem, ONCE AND FOR ALL. Yeah, i then had an hour's long counselling session with Ms Mulai, who is my school's counseller, together with two of my classmates. Together, we talked about our problems. BUT..but..but..when i told Ms Mulai about my problem and ''condition(if that would be the right word to use)''..she told me something, something that shocked me as if my world is going to fall apart, that i could not live any longer, that i was having DEPRESSION, i was at the early stage of depression. She told me that if i do not take any actions to solve this problem, that would lead to a more serious depression stage and hence, having to deal with medications and.. the BLA BLA stuffs..

You know, this is really really freaking me out! I AM DEPRESSED, I AM HAVING DEPRESSION! This thought have actually been visible to my mind for so many years already but i wouldn't let it happen. However, that was what it is, appearing before my mind now was the word, DEPRESSION.

Lord, could you just let me leave this world and just let me DIE?? I wanted so much to lead a happy and yet satisfying lifestyle, however, i am leading a boring and dull lifestyle. God, please lighten up my life, would you?? I guess i can't speak of this any longer...

Now, my heart is the only organ that lives for THE SAKE OF LIVING. Haha. I wonder, how nice would it be to have someone caring, loving and doing every other things with you...well, i understand a little of it already though not fully.

I just felt like searching his mind for a minute or two, just to search for the correct ''infomation'' that i always wanted to know, haha. I was overwhelmed with the fact that, the guy that i have liked for so long, have finally came closer...i just had this mixed feelings, like bubbles, some bubbles would appear and show visions of us in it, another moment, the bubbles would burst, ''POP!'' and every feeling would be gone again. This feeling is undescribable...i guess..things will change gradually, hopefully, for the better..

He just makes me worried about him all the time, i could feel that my whole heart lies on him..i would like to protect him and change him if i could. Let's say..FOREVER? How nic would that be if i were to be with him until the end of time:) However, the future is unpredictable, everything just comes with a flow, like the waterfalls...

*Sobs*, i miss you quite terribly!:'(

Okey-dokey, i guess it will be a fresh new start for me tomorrow! Have a long and nic weekend everyone!:) Goodbye and CHEERIOS!;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1PM_CzAzVM

Hey guys, i've got a test for you. This test shows how well you know me. Please do the test!=) Thank you.

P.S : The friend test is located at the right hand side of my blog, just right below my tag box=)


http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/687534

Hey! I'm here to update on my NEPHEW! =D

Hooray! It has been a week since the newborn was born into this beautiful world=D Below are two of the pictures sent by my cousin!

Cute, ain't he?!?!! Aww..is he hooray-ing or yawning??!? HAHAHA! Cute!!

Uhmm...he is ''GORGEOUS!'' Such a cutie, yeah?=D Uhm, will Shun be single eyed lid or double eyed lid?? I think he will be single eyed lid because as you know, most Japanese have got single eye lids...even though, i think he will grow up to be a cutie! ''HEH HEH''...his eyes looks so cute and his lips looks so...''teeny-weeny!'' LOL.

Alright, i got to go and do some ''Itsy-bitsy, nitty-witty'' stuffs now! HAH!

BYE!=DD

CHEERIOS AND BUENO SUERTES EVERYONE!

I didn't turn up for school today mainly because i was unwell. Alright, i was feeling really nauseous earlier this morning and i didn't even have the appetite to munch on something but my Mum adviced me to eat something, at least..so i ate a small piece of hotdog bread and drank a cup of milk for my breadfast and ate porridge with minced meat and steamed egg for lunch. And, surprisingly, i felt much better after eating the porridge that my Mum had cooked..uhm, i guess it must have been the ''mother's love'' that has given me strength to carry on my everyday duties as a teenager..i'm really happy to have a mother who takes care of me each and every moment of my lifespan especially when i'm sick..she is whom have taken much good care for me since i was a kiddy->adolesence->teenager(which is what i am now) . Mother's love is always that great! I love you Mum=)





I am really contented that i have such good parents who supports me in whatever i do. In any case, i'm contented with what i have, the love+concern+support from my family members..other than that, i know there are other families out there, other teenagers out there who might be living the same life as mine-or might not be..no matter what..the world- the wealthy, the humbles, the poor and the illed..we are all blessed with love from each and everyone of us..we shouldn't blame one another over small matters, feel hatred towards someone..and even starting quarells with one another..we should live our life to the fullest, enjoy every bit, every second in our lives..i'm gladly appreciated by this...which is...love+peace+joy=contentment..





I dare not ask for more in my life...but i really hope that i can get through most of the obstacles that i'm going through right now, right here..





Well...yes..i received a call from my bigger cousin earlier this morning saying that my cousin's sister, who is also my bigger cousin, had given birth!!:) I'm so elated, you know? Why? Because i'm going to have A NEPHEW!(it's a boy):D





''HOORAYY!''





I'm gonna have a nephew, i'm going to be an Auntie! Gosh, am i old now?=( HEH HEH. Well, it doesn't matters, partly because i'm already waiting for a nephew to appear! Hehe. Uhm, yes..my cousin was in labour for 23 hours! ''GOSH!'' That's soo long lah! I mean, like, i don't even dare to give birth already lah! Haha! I heard from my Mum, when she was pushing me out from her vigina to this beautiful world, that, it's a really tiring and painful experience..but..also..a wonderful miracle happening..yeah, i know that:) It's awesome...suddenly, there's a baby..who's popping right out out of nowhere?? HAHAHA. Uhm, really wonderful..i'm so happy for my cousin..CONGRATULATIONS JIEXIN JIEJIE!!!:D





However, the sad thing is that, the birth was taken place in Japan as my cousin was married to a Japanese, and i'm gonna have a Japanese+Chinese= Mix blood nephew! HEH HEH. Happy again!:D Oh yar, i think he's name is Ikawa-jun, i ain't sure either, i gotta check it out! And he's weight is 2.8kg! Light? Hahaha. And..sadly..i'm only going to see my nephew like maybe next year? That's soo long you know?!? I just can't wait to see him..and take pictures with him, i think he must be a cutie when he grows up, haha! Ok, my cousin sent me a picture of the nephew, he looks so small with eyes closed!;)

Uhm, i think uncle Takashi used his handphone to take this picture! Coz it looks dark! Haha. I'll remember this day, because it's the 25th of June 2007, my nephew's birth date and mine's on the 16th July , close by a month! Haha=)

HAH. I guess i'd better be going now..i'm a sick bird..bye bye!:D

Wow, it has been ages since i last updated my blog, haha. Well, i'm here now! So guys, i've updated alright?! Hahaha.

Hm, i stayed back at school recently for my school's Conquer O Programme as for Art as well. I can say that that's kind of ''Shitty'' cuz i don't plan to go back to school during the June holidays! ''AHHHH!'' I cannot stand the fact that i'll still have to go back to school for the next..two weeks! And i still have 8 more sessions of Art lessons-.- But well, i have the passion for Arts so it's alright, i shall bear with it for another..5 more months! HAH! I'm waiting for this critical period to be over!

Oh yes, i watched Pirates Of The Carribean yesterday. It was like a 2 and a half hour long show. The duration of the movie nearly got me sinking deep into my lala land, but fear not, because i've got my chocos with me! HEHHEH. I think the show was awesome. Everything seemed so surreal, especially Orlando Bloom! ''AWW..'' I get this fetishness over him..i'm a fan of his! How i ever wished he was standing in front of me and eyes clicking.. BUT, i know, that will never happen unless i've got that much capital to go to Hollywood and find him! HAHA. I like Keira Knightly, too! She's pretty and i think, she's a really good actress!=) I like the way she acted in the movie- that is acting manly! I got the tickets for the movie at 6.40pm at Bishan ( Junction 8) and i arrived home at around 10.30pm! The show ended at around 9.30pm. I had to explain to my Mom about that because i have forgotten to tell her that i wasn't taking my dinner as she've prepared it- unknowingly. HAHA. She had to holler at me for a while because of my own wrongdoings =(

Anyway, i thought of Liv Tyer, the ''WORLD'S NUMBER 4 MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN'', i think she is really pretty and looks sophiscated too! She's so fair..she has that beautiful and soft natural hair! Hmm, overall, she's pretty! A snowhite indeed!=)


Lastly, cheers for the June holidays! I've got to bundle up my cash and placed it in my bag and do some shopping! Of course, there's always a limit to it! Haha. I guess i will study and shop like a maddist! Hahaha. BYE!


* I'll always remember that it was a Friday, a late afternoon...no matter how much you brainwashed me, i'll still keep that in mind for as long as i shall live...* :)

WHERE DOES MY HEART BEAT NOW ? (Celine Dion)



So much to believe in - We were lost in time Everything I needed I feel into your eyes Always thought of keepin - Your heart next to mine But now that seems so far away Don't know how love could leave without a trace Where do silent hearts go?


Where does my heart beat now Where is the sound That only echoes through the night Where does my heart beat now I can't live without Without feeling it inside Where do all the lonely hearts go


Candle in the water - Drifting helplessly Hiding from the thunder - Come and rescue me Driven by hunger - Of the endless dream I'm searching for the hand that I can hold I'm reaching for the arms that let me know Where do silent hearts go?


I know that out there somewhere He waits for me Someone who's searching just like me Then one touch overcomes the silence Love still survives Two hearts needing one another Give me wings to fly I hear my heartbeat now I hear the sound Hear it echo through the night
I feel my heart beat now Now that I've found The feeling lives inside I've got someone to give my heart to Feel it getting stronger and stronger and stronger Hearts are made to last Till the end of time



The future is unpredictable. So for now, i will just lead my life as per normal.

I have been quite busy these few days practically doing my school work. I'm trying to mug as much as i can! I kept telling myself to keep going...but soon after, I was dazing off again!Hah! I knew this was going to happen after all. But, no matter what, I will still perservere. Determination, endurance and perserverance is the key to keep me going...

Okay, keep that aside for now. No doubt i have been busy these few days, i still considered the facts about the weird feelings in me. I guess i was feeling a little emotional lately. I guess it is because i wasn't feeling ''right''. Okay, so how did this occurred? Basically, i was thinking much about ''love and feelings'' that i feel for someone..i DON'T KNOW WHY but i just got this big CRUSH on this particular guy..UNTIL i found out earlier on(like a few days ago) that he actually had a crush on ANOTHER GIRL..man, i felt like a pathetic asshole! Personally, i feel that if her DOESN'T like me then it's no point forcing him to right? I've decided that i should just let it go and let nature take it's course..as the fact is what it is. Oh man..

''Gahhh!''

Oh Lord, please help me by letting all these problems filter out from my mind!I just can't stop fuming and rattling about this to others am i right?


''Drats!''


''Nothing gained, nothing ventured''


Oh boy, i got to go again. See yah all soon!

I can do all the things through Christ who strengthens me. The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called Failure, a loop called confusion, speed bumps called friends, red lights called enemies, a caution light called family. You will have flats called jobs. But, if you have a spare called determination, an engine called perseverance, insurance called faith, a driver called JESUS, you will make it into a place called success..and that is what i believe can happen..

I realised that not everything you want can be yours..you have to work for what you want in life and not wanting it to come to you automatically..certain things are hard to say..I am now trying hard to focus on what is most important and leaving the rest to what it is.




* I want to see the beautiful sky once again..I want to come up from beneath and see the most beautiful things in the world..I want to pour out my pains and sorrows..God, how i wish you were there to help me and guide me along..

HAPPY cny guys!=) I didn't have the time to blog about yesterday so i shall talk about what i did yesterday:D

We had our school CNY celebration yesterday(come to think of it, I think it's kind of cool!). I spent some time helping out to clean the classroom(I swept the floor) and as well as putting up some decoration to make the classroom look more colourful, haha. Of course, we had to decorate our classroom because there was a ''Classroom CNY decoration competition'' going on. The judges look great and they too, took a look at our classroom's decoration and my friend(Syafie)　funny and interesting speech, lol. Seriously, i hope we would win the competition!

After our dismissal at 12.30 pm, I went out with WF, YY, XN, CL to Bugis street. Like fine, i got there and it was soo freakingly sunny and crowded. I meant crowded as in there's a lot of people but not ''crowded'' like a standpit was going to occur! We all went to Bugis street's cafe and had our lunch there. WF and me talked and talked. It was fun though;D Later on, we all went our separate ways. WF and me went to Bugis Village and shop for the New Year clothes whilst the rest of them stayed on in Bugis Street. Okay, guess what? I met my another group of classmates!(which is YX's gang) Hahaha. Damn funny la. I was walking and out of a sudden, i heard someone calling out my name!Haha! Talked a short while about the bargaining of clothes and stuffs, hahaha.

I accompanied WF to buy some of her necessities. And again, I met Eric! Wow, Singapore is really damn small la. I still saw some of the AMKsians around at Bugis Village, lol. Woo...is that your girlfriend? Haha..

It's good to be close to someone you know really well..anyway, I came across this phrase..but this phrase have been rumbling in my mind for quite some time already, that is, '' If i had the chance to hold you, I would never let you go''. I wished I had the chance to do so, so as long as you allow me to..I don't expect too much either. I will let fate decide on my future...Oh yes! YES YES YES. I remembered I dreamt of you 2 odd weeks ago. Oh gosh..I didn't even know why the heck i dreamt of you!Haha! What a weird dream I've had man..but it was a good one..

*For you :

I am glad that you have known what is right and what is wrong. Apparently, you just did it according to what I have said. But, I believe you know what you are doing..you aren't a child any longer! You are a big girl now. I can't be always telling you what to do and what not to, am i right? You have to make be decisive and make the correct decisions. I am glad that you thought it through and broke off with him. I don't think that he is a bad boy but the thing is that you are still young..wait till you are much older, you will find the right person. I believe there are more than one choices. You are perfectly fine! Not to worry, hahaha. I will be there for you. ALWAYS!

Hey people!GOSH.I realised i haven't been blogging for more then a month already.Haha.Since the day school reopened, i have been quite busy with my studies. It will be a hectic year for me and frankly speaking, it is unbelievable that i am taking my O levels THIS YEAR!Like wow,right?Haha.I got to buck up on all my subjects though.Life is not easy, everyone of us will go through the most difficult period of our lives. Of course, depending on what situation we are in.

Well, today was quite a Monday blues for me, practically for everyone.Haha. I think i slept too late last night that i was feeling quite lethargic this morning.Heh. After school, i went to Bras Basha Shopping Centre with Thiam Jin and Wei Fang to Art Friend as TJ wanted to get some art materials. Also, we went on to another art shop. WF and I saw this whole box of different coloured ribbons and we thought of buying it.Haha.It looks so nice! I think we were tempted by the colour and texture of it ;) After pondering, we finally bought our desired colours. But the thing was that we did not have enough cash on us, so we borrowed money from TJ,hahaha. Sorry TJ! I will return you the $$ tomorrow or Wednesday!Hahaha.Hopefully tomorrow! :)

Yeah, we went to WF's mum eatery and ate some mouth-watering and super-delicious Thai food!It was quite a fulfiling meal despite the spicyness and filling food.Haha. I enjoyed the Tom Yam soup!Nice!Hehheh. Thank God, i ate to my fulfil. hahaha! And now, i am having stomache cramps again. AHHh!. :(

After having our dinner, it was already 7 plus. We took a bus from city hall and home we went!Gosh,my legs are aching after the long walk that we had.Haha.By the time i reached home, it was already 9pm.

I got to rush now, i think i will blog again quite sometime after...Chinese New Year,hahaha.

Gosh, the stress moment have just begun, i think i am going to explode soon!10 more months..i just have to work hard for 10 more months..and..the critical period will be over..SOON.Haha. Just to say, my art is stressing me out! I still can't believe this is happening, but i still have to be realistic..haha. I have to plan out everything already, i will do no matter what it takes :) As i am having my O levels this year, i will focus on it 100% and not let anything affect my studies.. I will not disclose anything about how i feel for you, but what i know is that i will sincerely wait for you. I don't know what to say..really..but well, in a few years time, i will let you know... This is soo complicated man..i suddenly realised what i really want in my life.. * you are the special one..i am glad that i have known you..

OPRAH WINFREY This week a new school opened in South Africa. In a country where a serious skills shortage is hampering economic growth any boost to the education system is welcome. However, two things are special about the Leadership Academy for Girls near Johannesburg. Firstly, it has been set up to give an education to girls from poor families and, secondly, it has been founded and funded by the American TV star Oprah Winfrey whose own start in life mirrored that of the pupils she is now trying to help. Cutting the ribbon at her new Leadership Academy for GirlsWinfrey is now a household name, host of a programme that has become the highest rated talk show in television history where public confession has become a form of therapy. Her success as TV star and actress has brought her great wealth and influence. According to Forbes magazine she was the richest African American of the 20th century and is the only black billionaire on the planet. Her opinions can create market swings and influence public behaviour. An off-the-cuff remark about a burger during the BSE crisis led to her being sued by the Texas cattle industry for depressing the sales of beef. She won the resulting court case Behind all the wealth and fame was a childhood of poverty and abuse. Born in rural Mississippi to two unmarried teenage parents, her early years were spent with her grandmother, a devout Baptist, who did not hesitate to use a switch on the young Oprah if she misbehaved. By the age of six she was back with her mother where, according to her own story, she was subjected to sexual abuse by members of her own family. She rebelled in her teens and admitted to a number of promiscuous relationships, one of which resulted in a pregnancy at the age of 14. The child subsequently died. Former beauty queen The turning point in her life was the decision to return her to her father, Vernon, in Tennessee. He insisted she go back to school where she thrived, becoming an honours student and winning a scholarship to the State University where she studied communications and got her first media job at a local radio station. She appeared to have a clear idea of where she wanted her life to go. Winfrey appearing as an actress in 1985's the Colour PurpleAn early boyfriend is quoted as saying that Oprah "knew what she wanted very early in life. She said she wanted to be a movie star. She wanted to be an actress, worked hard at it, and when her ship started to sail, she got aboard." It was not surprising that she quickly got snapped up by television. She was clever, witty and, as a former winner of the Miss Black Tennessee beauty pageant, she looked good on screen. After hosting shows on local TV she moved to Chicago in 1983 to take over an ailing mid-morning chat show. Within months it was extended to a full hour and renamed the Oprah Winfrey Show. In 1986 it was broadcast across the United States. Time magazine later attempted to discover the reason for this success. "In a field dominated by white males, she is a black female of ample bulk," it said. "What she lacks in journalistic toughness, she makes up for in plainspoken curiosity, robust humour and, above all empathy" Hands on involvement In 1998 Winfrey set up a charity to encourage help for the disadvantaged around the world. On a 2004 visit to South Africa she donated equipment, and clothing to poor and Aids-affected children in the townships. Nelson Mandela asked her if she would provide support for children whose parents were too poor to afford education and the result was the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls. Comparisons have been drawn with Madonna's involvement in AfricaWinfrey did not just fund the school, she became personally involved in the planning and design and even interviewed some of the applicants for places. "I really became frustrated with the fact that all I did was write check after check to this or that charity without really feeling like it was a part of me." she told Newsweek magazine. Poverty in Africa brings out a variety of responses. For another megastar, Madonna, help meant plucking one child from a village in Malawi and giving it all the advantages of a wealthy upbringing in the West. Some have argued this has done nothing for the thousands of children left behind. Winfrey takes a different point of view driven by her own childhood experiences and the belief that, given the opportunity, anyone can make a success of their life. In her own words, "It doesn't matter who you are, where you come from. The ability to triumph begins with you - always." ( I really admire Winfrey Oprah for who she is - her witiness, etc her show is really interesting, anyone of you should just set aside some time to watch her show. For the least, it is worth watching.)

You guys should check out this website, which is the BBC website. There are a lot of infomations,advices, tips and news. It is really interesting, go and take a look at it. I bet most of you would be dumbfolded by all the stuffs that are inside the website. http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/communities/onionstreet/advice/ This is the link on how you handle your school life properly, there are study skills that you can follow. Basically, there are a lot of infomations that you can refer to in this website. Have fun!